Surreptitiously Serendipitous

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that someone has placed a listening device in my refrigerator. It makes perfect sense, they are alarmed by my plans to bring down the government and replace them all with crayons/felt tip pens/other stationary paraphernalia. I cannot let them win however, and so I too have placed a listening device near a local pizzeria; should any government officials frequent said pizzeria I shall know all of their devious plans. I suspect that they have attempted to place a Bounty on me: only this morning I found a chocolate bar stuck to my back, but clearly there was a mix-up, as it was a Twirl.

I shall use this journal to inform you all of my struggle against the government, and the ongoing battle to ensure that the crayons hold the power to shape our country. Viva La Crayola!